BODY TRANSFORMATION: Eating Disorder - Binging - IIFYM

Hey guys... Evan, here., here.

Been quiet as back on sick leave pay. Really been thinking about where this channel goes from previous posts.

I feel it's important for me to post blogs as original pieces for you guys but on the flip side of that to link to people who could inspire you... As they inspire me.

Youtube of late has been fucking up my video recommendations. Yes I like web cam dancing BUT NOT UNDER 18s!! So I started getting a lot of under age teen girl web cam dancing and tomfooley videos. Yuck. Also I'm about 2 years away from my own daughter becoming an teen makes me click that 'not interested' button the more needed.

So after awhile Youtube got the message; I like confident young girls dancing or doing something active but don't take the piss. I hope you guys understand what I mean. I'ms till confused about 18-21 year olds... But that's another story.

So anyway, I came across Jazmine Garcia's channel saw her post about last night gym sess and feels. I became interested and clicked on her profile. First video I saw was this. I had it on in the background but Jazmine tells an amazing story starting from her young teens. Wearing braces, lost in the family (something I mention lightly on this week's podcast on my channel) and working out.

What for me makes Jazmine's story that more interesting is she talks about the DIFFERENT types of work outs in terms of a metal state, including different kinds of diets.

I shall keep my eye on Jazmine. I wanna see more videos I can relate to but I'll try catch her work out videos in the future. About to tweet her saying thanks for this little gem.



I hope you enjoy. Have a great day and remember, you are loved. We are The Aspie Sheep Brigade and we love you.

5 Lessons To LEARN From Depression (Guest Post)

 

 

I've already written an blog today... Let's see how long it takes to upload it.

Tomorrow I'm going to try edit size-able videos for my other blog but let's see how that goes.

Recently I'm getting fed up of my own style of writing. It's not that I don't enjoy it... It's just I'm fraustrated with how the shops are doing and I miss the freedom being free ranged self employed tagged on. But on the other hand, fuck it. I knew this would be a struggle from day one. Hell, before day one. God said 'let there be light' and all that shit. If I learned anything from leaving secondary school early, passing college on the third(?) time of asking and all those years at drama school and university, it's this.

Read a book.

Read books.

Read a goddamn bloodclaart book.

Read books, mother fucker. Read 'em.

Failing that, there's always a good blog or two to follow and read. (TMZ DOES NOT COUNT).

I've managed to ignore the lessons depression has been trying to teach me but my God am I paying for that now.

But like 12 plus years of being in an educational institute, you are not alone. There are professionals and professors to ask for help with tricky questions, colleagues to hang out and swap pokemon cards with and opposites of sex to get drunk with, have drunken sex with, sleep with and then when you both wake up try to fuck them again in the shower. Or maybe that last bit is just me.

However I consider depression the drama/art training some people disregard an made up lesson in life. Where has the rich kids fucked off to happiness/law school with the daddy's money and married at 21 (Cunts. Utter. Yippie. CUNTS).

So graduates from any school of life can read this brillant post from Lifehacker's Eric Ravenscraft and either use it as help or as a bit of an idiot sheet for understanding what some of us go through, every day.

The link... I'D CHECK DAT.

Five Lessons I Learned From Dealing with Depression

The 6 Top Songs To Cope or/and Explain Mental Illness (To People)

Depression and anxiety suck. If you have been following this blog for awhile you would realize this is something I personally have been struggling with for years. Even today getting out of bed is a struggle. I'm sat at my laptop hoping the earth will suck me into the ground and I know there are days where you feel similar if not the same.
Over this period I've found it hard to explain to people what kind of bullshit I have to put up with. And since music can alter moods and talk to or FOR you in my gloomy feelings I figure I would share my top tunes for coping, explaining or just to wallop in the darkness of these illnesses.
I also sometimes feel my asperger's is linked to these some of these songs. This is a general list and not to be seen as a countdown or up as in what songs I like the most, what dates, etc.

1.Idina Menzel - Let It Go

Frozen OST

This track and it's popularity seems to have picked up some steam in the past few weeks.
My feelings for why are: Didn't this get an Oscar nod? This soundtrack? No doubt it will be in the running for best animated film. And of course winter is coming to a close... *Dalek voice* THE SEASONS ARE REGENERATING!!  THE SEASONS ARE REGENERATING!!
The song itself reminds me of the days I liked musicals. Funnily enough the people that worked on this song have written for Avenue Q, The Book Of Mornon and an musical episode of South Park. I'm little surprised the team didn't work on Wicked as that's Miss Menzel's background but more on that later.
The song is basically what it says on the tin. An young woman with a curse/gift becomes queen, the people find out her curse/gift, go ape shit and chase her out of town. During this song she comes to realize her gift is precious (mmmmmyyyyyyy precioussssss... Don't lie. You WERE thinking it) and decides to say 'fuck it. This is my gift and I'm going to celebrate it.'

I know some of you will be upset I cursed but tough shit. I shoot from the hip and aim for the head. There's no filter between what I think, what I believe in and what I say. It's taken awhile to celebrate my curse/gift but it's here, it's NOT queer. DEAL WITH IT.
This song and what I wrote I highly recommend to add to your life. Don't hide things people don't understand. If you are 'fat and fabulous (I personally fucking hate that word, fabulous. Feels like I've lost man points just saying it), Celebrate that. If you are transgender, celebrate that. If you are a man and think you look hot in emo/goth make up... 
Listen. Don't hate the player. Hate the game. 

EMINEM - MONSTER (featuring Rihanna)

Marshall Matters LP 2 

You are AWESOME. Anyone who disagrees is a dickhead. 
NOW MOVE. 
ON.
Second time in 24 hours I've used that Top Boy reference and the second time I doubt anyone will get it.
Eminem is my favourite artist of all time. Because even those he's never admitted to having a mental illness, he seems to always write songs like he GETS what people go through. I'm eager to read an official self written book of his life and struggles.
This and 'Way I Am' perfectly shows off the point above in a pop style that crossed over *cheesy DJ voice* all the way to the number one spot here (The UK) and in the USA.

The Man Who Attempted Suicide Shares Story Of Hope... And How I Relate To It

I sit in silence. Well, until my phone rang.

My father ringing me back to let me know the bank has the problem and whenever things are cool again, he can get the green light to help me with things. The help I was going to use to promote this site, buy stock and pay a bill. I may have to wait a week for it. I'm annoyed at myself for such a small overlook... Overlooked. I often get annoyed at the little fuck-ups I do. I believe I've posted about being alone in a theatre softy sobbing because of a catalogue of small fuck-ups which meant I and my cast couldn't perform a self written play I worked on for months. It's a catalogue of small fuck-ups which meant I moved from Manchester to Creswell to Worksop and then living at my mum's for a quarter of 2012, the worst year of my life. But fuck-ups are like money; collect loose change and after awhile, you have a fortune. Of sorts. Or debts. 

When you are alone due to hurt it's hard to tell why you WANT to be alone. Is it the asperger's, depression, anxiety or/AND you just can't be arsed- Oh fuck me, it's raining. Brilliant. I was trying to push myself to cheer up and have a meal for tea... Or if the weather stops arrangements.

But with me once the rain pours onto my life, no matter if it's a quick shower or a monsoon I feel it like it's the end of the world.

Society doesn't want to talk about us and our problems. Because they are worst things happening in the world or/and they are having too good a time to care.

Both of those ideas are bollocks.

One; no one will NEVER suffer like YOU are suffering because it's simple; NO ONE CAN FEEL FOR YOU. LITERALLY.

Yes there are hungry children in the world. Yes they are people dying of horrible deceases. But that is THEIR pain. No one can feel that pain for them. It is personal to them. Like the homeless I feel there is so much we can do to help and they can do to heal.

Hungry children in poor countries walk for miles on end JUST to get to school because they hope one day they can get a education and feed themselves and the loved ones they know. The horrible deceases I don't want to get into as I don't know much about it however I do people fight those illnesses. They don't just keal over and die. Some of the homeless people I see near my home... Some I want to help by giving them some kind of job to have food, shelter and to kick drug habits where as other homeless people I just want to punch them in the goddamn mouths. I personally hate it when I see people just give up.

But that's what I do. I give up on somethings and I hate it. I hated 2012 so I cut myself. Often. I hurt myself, hated myself but hated going to the extremes of self harming more.

I give up trying to find a perfect partner. A wife. That's not me. I don't believe in marriage, happy families or spending my life with someone for the rest of both of ours.

So I'm quite surprised to see Seth Adam Smith's post on marriage go viral on social networks. More so as I'm sure I saw a similar post where some kind of royalty got married and decided he disliked it after a year. Down in the dumps, I skim read the article and now I'm pretty sure: the whole family thing? Been there, done that and as much as I like my daughter's mum's family getting married to her and having ANYONE not just her mum as a extra mum... No thank you.

So I decided to check out the rest of his blog and to be honest I skim read a lot of it but I got the feeling he's from Mars and I'm from Planet Cunt, as in I couldn't find an article to sit down and read from digital cover to cover.

But then I saw he attempted suicide. 

I can't find the blog mentioned on his video about him telling everyone he is about to kill himself but the whole video report bought back some memories, symptoms I have similar to and thoughts as to wonder if I actually did successfully end my life if people would give a shit or no.

I'm sharing this video with you all to let you know we can all survive the shower or the monsoon. We just need the strength to do so.

Although is he Mormon? Lindsey Stirling is Mormon, isn't she?

And she's smokin' fucking HAWT.

 So Seth gets bonus points for that. And being named after a Street Fighter 4 character.

Check out his blog here! http://sethadamsmith.com